Her

I want to say that I will explain correctly the events of the past night but my indecent understanding will prevent that. At best a thing will be said and your interpretation will stand as the last word.

It was not the first night, there have been a few others, two or three others so as to be more or less precise, but last night was the first detailed where every explanation failed me, where I had to quiet and cease all thought, and to accept the incomprehensible without a rudder of logic to guide me.

It was early in the night, she swept her soul essence through the room in one swoop, and then paused back, harking out some quicken sound, and I want to say thought it is not for certain, that since I was laying with only my underwear that perhaps her soul had been a while without a man, and so perhaps was tranced by appetite for flesh. And so indeed it felt as she swooped right into me, immediately I felt this tightening of electricity, pulsing energy that was not of my own doing, as I had not the ability to reach to those levels of my thighs and growing, but was instead perplexed as to the goings on.

I paused as any human would rightly do, and thought of the possible, I was being possessed by some mal investing spirit, once inside of me only a proper exorcism would do away with it, and the church would brand me a heretic, or ponder what I did to deserve such a cunning evil, certainly I would be marked for life, as one that had touched the devils doings, and so I thought perhaps it best to vanquish the spirit while I still had the temerity to move under my own free will and turn the lights on, and call upon my dear wife to hug the night away.

But then I was having troubles with the wife, had lost my job, had not a dime to call my own, and things were bad and getting worst though more would hardly seem they could, and so I did dare to think that I had nothing else to lose, I had no hope of anything else in this here world, so if I were stolen by the devil at least that would emancipate me from the boredoms of this world. And how could I think else, without a job, unhappy wife, and not a dime for ale.

At such moments of perdition one has courage, and it may well be a lesson to god that had we other things we might not be misled; but here there is no lesson, except the truth, which radiates from facts.

I remembered a golden rule, that spirits must leave your body if you call them out of it, I had but to say, “away! Away you spirit, out of my body!” and with that for sure, it is said that immature habitations can be brought to end. This it is said, because a spirit can not alienate you from your body unless you permit it insurmountable habitation, where then it may squeeze you out like a squatter might.

But I was figuring I had most control the other two nights she had left without much a do, and so I figured what the heck, another night is not much to add to squander one’s rights. At first I asked, “are you the spirit of my dead mother, or my brother, or my best friend Antonio?” those being the most closest to me that I knew to inhabit the spirit world, but no reply came in any form. But then it occurred to me that I had not established rules of communication, I did not know for instance what a “yes” or “no” could be, so I decided to instruct the essence that if I was right it should press its energy upon my body to signify a “yes” and if “no” as naught it was, an absolute silence would confirm.

And so with these guidelines, again I asked the same three questions and naught came back and that was fine. I then asked are you a man or a woman, and nothing quite for sure came back, except I felt the long hair of a woman upon my face, and having accepted that, I also felt a kiss. To my immediate surprise I challenged myself morally to register this as treason towards my marriage, and my wife sleeping soundly, snoring I might add, where I felt nervous and then just as quickly thought, “the spirit world is not ruled by material laws, there are other rules that govern the cosmic.” And with that I was able to calm my self some though not completely voided of guilt.

I kept on asking questions, and thought I felt her essence humming through my body, not aggressive nor anything to warrant my concerns, I did not feel her energy punctuating any answers to my inquisitiveness. And so it was that most profoundly I felt into a progressive list of questions trying to find one to altercate this simmering energy within me, “did you get killed in a car accident? Are you in limbo on this earth? Are you from this neighborhood? Did you get killed in a terrorist attack? Are you here to help me save the world? Are you going to cure my greased filled arteries or my bad knees or my well preserved in alcohol liver?” and no question made forthcoming any surge of energy nor did she bother to make noises by breaking a lamp or torching the house, nothing, and of course I felt a bit ridiculous, her essence was clearly within me, and yet what did it want? what could I do for it? and what was its purpose of bothering with me if I wasn’t able to comprehend?

No answers came back in any form and yet she remained there simmering, humming away throughout my upper and lower torso, I felt her all the way down to my ankles, and there was some frontal lobe stimuli, and my hair was shimmering a bit, so gentle and so balanced all, that I had but to conclude that she just wanted to feel me, and so I must let go and not think, which was for me quite hard, as I was a thinker and not a doer and could not let go my natural nature was to control and so I was going out of my norm, into unknowns. I began to breath deep and long, and that caused her to move within me, so that I felt a positive reaction, and even the displacement of some tissue and some liquid and some air pockets were discernibly squandered. And with that bit of a magnification of her presence, I felt comfortable enough to encourage greater molestation, “I feel that you are a good spirit that you mean me no harm, that you are not going to take advantage of me, you may posses me if you wish, I am an avatar, I have always been mostly the thoughts of others recombined, feel free to feel me with your essence and feel this world as you might through me, feel me with your essence, I so want to be a part of you.”

And that is mostly how we passed the night except that at some point I realized that there was a night light on in the restroom, some of which escaped into the bedroom and there was also a hallway light on that wound around the stairs; and somehow she gave me comprehension of a spirit limitation, they are low, very low energy representations, miniscule, perhaps not even atom worth, and so any other energy is likely to overthrow them and turn them insignificance, that is why they are more likely to appear in the cold and more so in the night, where there is less energy emulsification to cancel them out or blind them out of symbolism. Understanding this now I promised myself to turn off all the lights the following night.

RC